To my son

I was just perusing Facebook (which I rarely do) and saw that my teen isn't doing too well (according to what I read anyway). So this post is to my son and I know he reads my blog whenever he can. Maybe this isn't the place for this, but just emailing him doesn't seem like enough.

Andrew, I wish things were better for you. I'm sad that you don't seem to have a place to live. What happened with the salvation army? I know I could email you and keep all of this private, but I'm pretty sure you'd just reply that everything is fine and for me not to worry. Whether you like it or not, I'm going to worry. I think of you every single day and wonder how you're doing so even if you're doing "fine", I'm going to worry, even if you are really and truly fine.

I love you with all of my heart and keep hoping and praying that one day you'll realize where you are in life and that it's not where you should or want to be. I will keep hoping and praying (and worrying in the meantime) that moment will come. But I want you to remember that you will always have a home here with us. You never have to wonder where you will be sleeping or if you will have a meal or a shower.

I know that your friends are very important to you and they keep you going. But one day you need to realize that in order to advance in life, you need to put yourself ahead of your friends. You need to take care of you and not depend on your friends for validation or feelings of worth/esteem. You may, at times, feel that everything is wonderful when you're with your friends and you're having a great time but what happens the next day? What happens a week later? Where will you be sleeping? How will you support yourself if you have no address to put down on a job application, no education to list.

I mean no disrespect to your friends at all. You talk to me about them and I see how happy you get. I am grateful that they have been there for you when you needed them and I'm NOT suggesting you stop being friends with them. Please believe that! I just want you to focus on you and realize that you are a great person, a wonderful man, who has so much potential and I want you to find that! I only want success for you, even if that means just finishing school and getting a job somewhere. Once you do that, the possibilities are endless.

Remember that we are always here for you. Always. You will always have a home here in Waterloo with us. We will do whatever we can to help you while you're here with us.

I miss you and love you with all of my heart.

Mom